So get ready...
Tomorrow is June 18th. My friend Pete's birthday. It also would have been my chihuahua Midgie Rae's 5th birthday. I had to put her down 2 days before her first birthday. I talk a little bit about her in this post. (Caution, that post also has large triggers.)
Tomorrow is also Friday. Ok, whoop-de-doo right? Well Jeff's Mom (M) and older Sister (R) are coming up tomorrow. ACK! They were planning on coming up on Saturday, but stuff came up and R needs to be home a day earlier then originally planned, so yeah. I guess I have to work a little bit faster on getting Liam to say Gramma! Jeff also has a bit of cleaning he needs to work on (and I have a few little tidying up chores to finish as well...)
This whole week is fairly symbolic to Jeff and I (and also lends some extra humor to Jeff's Mom and Sister's visit, and his ex's behavior, which the below post is referencing...but I'll get into that one in a moment.) Four years ago, on the 10/11th (they were running about an hour late, otherwise he would have arrived on June 10th) my cousin arrived with his best friend in tow. Jeff and I had our first face to face meeting. Jeff and I spent the week getting to know each other, and hanging out in a tent (which, believe it or not, C does not, remained a pg-13 rating;)) at night. Might I mention here that his visit with my cousin was a resounding success? He came back a few days later...and then a couple weeks after that, and then he moved up here. So yeah, this whole week is special to us, which we see it as an 'anniversary' of sorts, we still see April 9th as the 'winner', the 'meet' date, June 10/11th, the actual meet date and August 17th is his move up date. So you see.
In order to have even met Jeff, I need to give a thanks to his ex wife. Yes, I know, odd, but seriously, if she had not been giving him grief, he may not have been talking to C that night, and I wouldn't have been passed off to Jeff, or he to me. SO yeah. M.A., thanks. While I know you may, or may not, realize the greatness of your loss, it's my gain, and I thank you for it.
Now, yesterday, she said she was ready to talk about it (she said this to Jeff.) I understand that thinking, and really hope that it's helpful for her to move on successfully and be happy, I really do. So she asked Jeff is it would be ok with me if they talked, because she didn't want to cause problems between us, and of course, I have no problems with that. What got me, and what prompted the below post?
"Here's my number. Call me". Uhm, didn't you just tell Jeff that you were ready to talk? Then shouldn't you either continue your message, or offer to call him? Yeah. I'm not so sure you will get very far by telling him to call you...seriously. That really cracked me up. Don't get me wrong! I really want her to be happy, I really want her to find her demons and get them taken care of. I really want her to be able to know that he is available to her, and I won't stop her. It's just my thought, that if she is ready to talk, and ready to get over it and past it (even though Jeff was years ago!) shouldn't she call him? The days of her telling him to call her have sailed. I do not 'own' him, but he sails under a new captain now, and she needs to deal with that.
Another thing. I was once a member of a certain group. I still kinda lurk there, and still kinda check things out, and keep up with a couple people. I know that I was one part (of a few) of the brew-ha-ha that went down there, and caused a huge rupture in the group.. People are still healing from it, in many ways. People are still shaking out and re-finding their places. So when I saw someone else involved in said brew-ha-ha mention that the group should be deleted, I was a little surprised. I do not post there so she has a safe place to go. I have posted once since the bhh, and that was to mention that a certain good friend had her baby, but that was the only post that I made. I know there are a few of the 'oldies' who cruise by, they post when they can, but they do check it out. Right now the posts are few, that does not mean it won't liven back up. Maybe the negativity still needs to settle out, and the atmosphere needs to clear a bit more, but that does not a deleted group make. ~shrugs~.
Have I mentioned recently, that I am officially a mother of a 7th grader?!?! yeah! I am! She was promoted (they called it graduation, but I like promoted better) June 9th. Time flies. Wanna hear the scariest part? After the promotion, I went up to Kae's Father, M, and shook his hand, then I hugged him! Yeah, weird stuff eh? Hehee. I also hugged his new wife, T. Jeff said M's step dad was a little floored by it, but after 10 years (or so) of at each other's throats, it seriously was a move to step off that direction, and maybe try something new, and you know what? I think it worked! I saw him this evening with at the store, and we talked, civilly. No awkward head nods, but actual talking. Whowouldathunkit?
Ok, I think that might be it for now. I might be missing something, but hey, Jeff just handed me a drink, so I'm gonna go enjoy it!
(Oh, and do I need to remind anyone that this is MY blog, so I am allowed to say what I want? I don't? That's good, cause I would hate for people to forget that fact!)
20 comments:
hahahahaha...
yeah, seems I decided to stay. ;)
(p.s. To make ironies of ironies, the word verification for this post is... guene ;) )
Happy Anniversary week you crazy kids!! Seriously, that's awesome. I love remembering fun dates like this.
And kudos to you for accepting the ex-wife and letting her deal with her drama. A lot of women don't deal well with that, but I'm with you on this one. What could it hurt? And I would want her to be able to move on, too. I'm a HUGE fan of closure, for anyone. Very odd that she would say she wants to talk to J and then tells him to call her. What? Hahaha.
I CAN'T believe you are a mom of a 7th grader!! That makes her seem so old, but you're so young!!
Can I have a drink? :)
the old group... I will say it, I do miss some of the ladies! I can live the rest of my life without one of them, just because she is a backstabbing (c word) person.
And before anyone gets hurt by this comment, it is NOT anyone who's name starts with a J or D. BUT, I am not ready to come back. The one person who as I understand it is not part of that group anymore has wounded me so deep that I don't know that I can fully trust that large of a group again.
Opps sorry this isn't about me. BTW June 18th my BFF and nieces (not the snobby one) birthday =0).
Heh, Guen, that's kinda funny!
Thanks Mollie! I don't have an issue with ex's in general. I figure, I have him now,a d I am (usually) comfortable with that;), We all have our moments though...And yes, I feel old! Even thoguht you tried to make me feel better by calling me young, heheee;) Of course you can have a drink, what's your pleasure?
Kim, go ahead, I don't mind, it's definitely something you can comment about. I debated on putting it in or not, but really, it's in my head, so therefore, yeah, I put it down. I do miss some of them myself, which is why I lurk...but overall, not sure i need the drama...like they don't need me, LOL! Especially that one person you talk about;)
Happy anniversary to you and J
Have fun with the in laws.
Congrats to K thats awesome.
I also miss a few of the girls i lurk but dont post.
Im assuming since there isnt anyone else this would be about then its me. So if you have something to say about me then say it to me not to other people. And if this is about me I don't see how I wounded anyone. I was hurt just as much as the other people involved. What's done is done and its over. I didn't backstab anyone. I had no problem with you Kim you are the one that choose to delete me over something you said that I said even though I didnt. I still care about all of you, including you Iiri. Yes, I can and have moved on in my life and am doing just fine. There is no reason to dwell on it. At least pretty much everyone still talks to you I lost friends that had nothing to do with it and it will never be the same no matter how hard anyone tries. Happy Anniversary week Iiri.
Yes, I do still read your blog from time to time to see how you and the kids are. Aubrey
Aubrey, let me ask you this. Why are you going to MY friend my friend that I SEE every day trying to talk crap? YOU are the one that told me *I* am not allowed MY feelings. *YOU* told me I was not allowed to talk about what *I* wanted on *MY* blog. *YOU* are the one who told *US* to pick sides. NONE of us were picking sides the WHOLE point that YOU missed was we were sick of hearing about it. The issue was NOT the fight the issue was we were sick of hearing about it. YOU Aubrey turned it into something it isn't. Oh but that is right you are the poor victim that has been attacked.
Sorry Iiri.
No need to be sorry Kim.
Iiri, you know I love ya enough that I don't want to disrespect your blog, or any of your OTHER readers. =0)
Kim, What are you talking about? Who am I talking crap to? I havent said anything to anyone. Maybe you should re-read over your email that you sent to all of us that day and the email that you sent to me. Who is it that I told to pick sides? I love how I didnt even start this crap and Im the one that gets blamed for it. I guess poor you never does anything wrong. Your perfect. By saying you liked Iiri over Jen more that wasn't asking anyone to pick sides? You can hate me all you want I really dont care. I know who my real friends are and apparently it was never you.
Oh and its sad that you cant even be woman enough to email me a truthful response of why you have a problem with me you had to lie to me.
No, Aubrey, I have went back to those people I was wrong with and told them I was wrong and asked for forgiveness.
BUT with you, you told me I was not allowed MY feelings. You told me I wasn't allowed to go to MY blog and express MY feelings. Had YOU backed off like everyone else there would not be an issue.
And if YOU re-read the email you would have seen I thought the issue was resolved. I thought we were going to delete and ignore.
It was then that YOU brought up the picking sides. The issue was not the fight, the issue was Jenn bring up the fight over and over. YOU turned it into something it wasn't.
Again, lets play the victim. I can at least man up and say, yes I was wrong on how I read some of the emails. But I am NOT wrong on the emails you sent me.
And I have went out of my way to avoid you, yet things keep coming back to me.
Oh and Aubrey one last thing..
If you care so much for iiri, why did you send out an email to everyone inviting them to a new group making sure to add that iiri and I were not invited?
Doesn't seem like you care based on that. Seems to me the only reason you are here and commenting is because we were talking about you. Only difference, we made it public.
It was Danielle's Idea to make a new group and I said I would do it. It was so we would have some other place to go to be able to talk. Had nothing to do with either of you not being there. I did that like a way long time ago days after the whole thing happened. It wasnt something recent and I have even been on Cafe Mom in over a month. How was I supposed to ask you to come there when you deleted me and blocked me? I wasnt able to have the chance to even email you even if I wanted to. And I didn't just invite girls from the old board, I invited all of the girls that I knew from Webmd that were talking about how we had no place to talk now.
When did I say that you weren't allowed your feelings? I was speaking to Iiri in those emails and what I said didn't come out like it was meant. Post what you want I dont care. I did look back at the emails and there were other people who said the same thing I did before I even said it. But yet Im the one that got singled out and asked why I was saying that. Did either of you ask anyone else why they said what they did? I never saw it. The whole picking side thing was brought up before I was even sent the email to begin with.
I dont know what it is that is getting back to you because Im not saying squat about you. Its over and done with and Ive moved on like I said before. I have better things to do with my time then to talk about either of you.
Ive been reading Iiri's blog for a long time now and I was reading yours too even after everything happened. I AM SORRY for the things that were said but I won't be sorry for how I felt and still feel. Its become apparent to me in the last few months what the whole thing was about when people aren't talking to me and some even deleted me because they were friends with both of you and I didn't do a darn thing to them.
Wether it was meant to come across the way that it did I don't know but I took it that way and I know there were other people that felt the same way they just choose not to speak there feelings.
It's sad to me that its like well lets find someone to blame this on so sure pick me I guess. Even though I left the group that day and wasn't even there so you could have been there all you wanted.
I never saw what else was said on Cafe Mom by Jenn and I said that before. I only saw a few of the things that were said and I wasnt going to base my decision on what I had seen because I thought that both of them said hurtful things to the other.
I dont know what emails it is that I supposedly sent you. I only sent you 3 emails, 1 asking you why you deleted me, the next replying to your email, and the other one to say what I forgot to add in the one before. Thats it.
If you want to talk to me then email me ask me if someone says I said something I have no reason to lie. My email.... sassy_507@yahoo.com
yeah I am going to jump all over that one.
Hey Aubrey, while I appreciate that you feel you need to defend yourself, really? Seriously? *I* stepped away from that board, and *I* "picked" J to stay by doing so (because she did needed the support more then I)...then somehow *I* get told (by you)*I* won, and I had nothing (other then the original BHH) to do with the other discussion where people were "asked to pick sides"?? Just saying that there are many different sides, and while you feel "right' in your stance, that does NOT make Kim and more or less "right' in her stance.
I think you got hung up on my asking where i should go to vent, and that was attacking you. I stepped off, so Jenn could stay, and went to my own place to vent, but somehow that was not ok...
There were a lot of accusations from a lot of people, but, sometimes, you gotta step up. yes I was pissed, yes, you felt like there were sides, but ultimately, everything still shook out the way it did.
And I did not block or delete you on CM, why did I not get an invite? Oh, that's right, because according to you, I was the cause. Of what you ask? Go read your invites. "J and Iiri were fighting" what is the next line? Yeah. Sorry if I fall on Kim's side on this one.
While I appreciate that you check up on me, and I don't care what you post, and who you argue with on my blog (I am a bitch, so there fore my followers must be) remember, *I* can say what *I* want on *MY* blog, whether you like it or not.
Which I think brings you and I at least full circle, cause you couldn't tell me WHERE to go vent when I very politely and repeatedly asked you to help me find an appropriate outlet.
I have 2 things to say:
#1: Kim, when exactly did I keep bringing it up? I never commented on a blog, posted about it on Facebook, sent any messages...and, the last thing I posted on CM was that I was going to hide a while, when I came back apparently everyone had gotten in a big bruhaha, and it was deleted and I never saw it. So when exactly did I bring it up.
#2: There are no "winners" here. Every single one of us has lost. And it's a damn shame. If everyone else would have butt out, maybe it wouldnt have been that way. Iiri and I are big girls, we could have worked it out without the whole group being destroyed. But since the post got deleted, I dont even know how so many people got hurt over it *shrug*
I feel like there is a lot of childishness going on here (in general, not in these comments in particular). We are all GROWN women with children of our own. The drama and bullshit needs to stop. From everyone. Period. I have tried in teh past, by trying to get the group going again, trying to stay in touch, etc. But its not enough. Iiri, lets talk about this dear. Message me on FB if you are interested in doing so.
Jenn, with all this I have been trying not to hurt you, I have been trying to keep some info out of this. I really don't have an issue with you, at first I did, but once I got past my anger I saw you had nothing to do with it. With that, since you asked..
Days after the original BHH I had a couple of people come to me saying they were going to confront you about bringing up the original BHH over and over. We were trying to move on.
The big fight that we are talking about, was trying to decide what to do about it. The question was asked if we asked you to leave the group, everyone said no. We asked if we should talk with you about it, again the answer was no. When I left that afternoon the last email I sent was that I would "clean up" the board, remove all posts that had to do with the original BHH and keep removing them. That we all would try to move on, if it continued to be an issue then we would come to you about it.
When I came back it had went from that to an all out blood bath. At that time *I* felt *I* was the issue, I caused this fight, so *I* stepped away from the board. I was the first to leave, and I did so without comment. I still feel really awful about it all. Had I even imagined that it would have turned out the way it did I would not have taken that step. *shrugs* I am sorry Jenn, I never meant for it to go as far as it did, and I never meant for anyone to be hurt.
My issue with Aubrey was at that time was something *I* read wrong. Had she dropped the subject, I would have calmed down and went back later. She didn't drop it, she emailed me told me "as group owner you are not allowed to have feelings one way or the other" "this should have never left the group, you should have never blogged about it". I have also had info leak back to me in written form, and verbal that she is going around not only bad mouthing me, but also Iiri.
And in case you never read that blog, which is long gone, I said I saw BOTH sides.
Again Jenn, I am sorry this turned out like it did. I am sorry I was angry at you and allowed this to happen.
Kim,
Really this is what I said to you? "as group owner you are not allowed to have feelings one way or the other"???? This is what I really said to you "I know that you are closer to Iiri but as a group that had to be seperate". I would have said this to anyone because regardless of the friendships that you have in that type of role you have to be objective and neutral to be able to moderate/own a group. If said person did something to you then its a different thing but a fight between 2 people even if one of them is closer to you shouldnt sway someone one way or the other.
I dont know who it is Im going around badmouthing either of you to. Im hardly ever on here and dont even really talk to anyone. I did say some not so nice things then over 2 months ago when this all happened. But I never called you a not so nice C word or Vindective. I even said this to you in the last email I sent you "I hope things go well for you in your life and I hope the kids grow up to be great little people. Im sorry it had to come to this. I def didnt want that maybe its for the best I guess". This was something stupid and has went wayyyyyy out of the perspective that it should have been. I have better things to do then sit around and bad mouth ppl. Im living my life, and taking care of my kids. Ive moved on I was over it. Then all this comes up. If you had an issue with me AGAIN, then you should have came to me and talked to me even if you were pissed at me. Yes, I have said some things to someone I thought was my friend because she came to me asking me things. Apparently, now I know why. I said what I feel is the truth.
You told me you deleted me for a totally different reason. You didnt tell me the truth when I asked you why and sadly I think you had a problem with me because I had a fight with Iiri as well. I didnt say those things to you. Iiri and I were talking and we both said some not so nice things. I wasnt the only one that said certain things there were others as well but Im the one you are mad at. I was in a bad place then as well and I told several people then 2 days before the email my step son had tried to kill himself so I was on edge and not myself either. Ive said I was sorry for what happened, I dont know what more you want from me. Ive moved on and I hope you would do the same.
Im not sure what friends you have lost but I never tried to turn anyone against either of you. I was able to be friends with people that both of you were. But because of this most of them choose not to talk to me.
Iiri, I sent you an email on FB yesterday. I know we wont be friends again and Im ok with that. But I do want you to know that Im sorry for what was said and what happened and lets just leave it at that.
Kim,
I appreciate your words and your apology. i still dont know when I brought up the BHH over and over, before the big one, since I wasn't there....Kate brought something up in a post, I responded, then was told I had no place to say anything, and that's when I said I was gonna step back. next thing I know, everyone hates everyone else, and me. My argument was with Iiri, but next thing I am deleted by you and Katie (WTH) and you all have your own group which I am not welcome at, and *my* group has fallen completely apart. Its a shame this all had to happen. Like I said, Iiri and I would have resolved it without it being a mess for everyone else. I'm just glad no one really needs a ton of support right now, cuz I dunno where they'd get it *shrug*
Anyway, I appreciate your apology. I was kinda wondering where I had so terribly wronged you personally in all of this, besides arguing with your friend.
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