To help or not to help.

Asking for help. It's such a hard thing to do. It's such a hard thing to turn down when you need it. It's such a hard thing to get when help is not what you want.

There are times when your plea is an understood plea, like today on our way to Liam's nursing appointment, there was a car accident. I told Mom to pull over, and I ran to the scene. Fortunately both people were climbing out of their vehicle as I got to the car, because someone else had also stopped to help. They both looked shaken, but after a quick assessment I knew there was nothing I could do more to help. I asked if I could be of any help, and got the answer I suspected. I went back to the car and away we went. Their plea, although I wasn't able to help more then asking a few questions, was an understood one. They needed help, I offered it.

There are situations when help, while not needed, is welcomed, such as the nice lady at the grocery store today. Mom and I got a few groceries while we were in town, and when we were choosing a line to get into to check out, I saw there was an older lady, with two small jars in her cart, at the end of a long line. I told Mom I would be right back, and went over and told the lady I could help her at the self check-outs, because standing in line with two things just isn't necessary. She smiled at me and to the self-checkout we went. About half way there she realized that I was carrying Liam, and that I didn't work there, she initially thought that that I was guiding her to the 10 items or less line, which I realized when she said she didn't see anyone there. Once we got to the self check out, I ran her items through, showed her (in case she felt brave in the future) how to pay, handed her receipt, and offered her a smile. She didn't need my help, but she appreciated it.

There are situations when we know we need help, and we admit it. We ask for it. I needed help tonight. Jeff was working late, and Liam was REALLY displaying his toddler boy tendencies. I asked Lil Miss for help. She gave me a few minutes to go get dinner started (even if it was a simple hot dog and french fry dinner). I knew I needed help. I asked for it.

Then there are situations when we don't want it. We don't want your effort. We don't want your advice. We just don't. We want to muscle our way through, struggle, vent, cry, complain, sweat, endure sleepless nights considering. We WANT that. We just want a shoulder when we are venting. We just want someone to say they understand. We want a hug. What we DON'T want, well, is to be told what to do, or how to do it. Usually we forget to mention that we are just venting, but sometimes we even mention that we don't want "help", and still get it, when ALL we want is an ear that listens.

Listen to the call. What is it asking you?