Labor and drugs....

So, as you see below, my friend Mandy (and her husband Mike) had their baby, and a cuter baby (that is not from my own body of course) I have never seen! I again offer congratulations!

Some fascinating stuff though, went on, and I really got a view into the female brain, and what I saw, man...kinda bugged me...

I need to start this off, in a kind, non-judgmental way. I need to do this because I am very clear in my thoughts, and sometimes my brains goes ahead and I write things, omitting a word,a nd that changes the whole interpretation of what I am saying.

I think a pregnant woman has a very important choice to make way before labor. that choice is to medicate, or not. If you think that you can't handle the pain of labor, then medicate, get that epi, what ever! If that's what you need to do, go for it! If you want to feel it the whole time, and go all natural, go for it! Seriously, it's a personal decision,and only you can make it. IT's all about who you are, and I really don't care WHAT you chose to do. Another friend of mine, Kate, posted a blog about labor, and did you decide to medicate or not, and why...a fascinating look into varying minds and perspectives on it. While I think every woman should try a drug free labor, I am not one to have any issues if you go into labor and run for the drugs. Like I said, to each their own, and like Kate aptly put it, baby gets here safely either way, so what difference does it make?

So, have I made it clear, I don't give a rat's behind what you chose, drug, don't drug, what ever. It's not a big deal to me...what I am going to say, you can easily take the same argument, and reverse it, because I have heard it both ways. I will also admit, that I am a drug free type person (well, I was before c-sections became my necessity), and I have argued to at least TRY a drug free labor, I never once pushed...

To the point of my blog post.....

I was utterly floored with the amount of disrespect towards Mandy's decision to try a drug free labor. Seriously, it pissed me off to no end. Even while she was in labor, i was reading posts from people telling her to get the meds, go for it, she deserves it, etc etc...

While I understand that THEY probably had drugged labors, and were fine with that, Mandy chose NOT to use drugs if possible. Respect that!

When I was pregnant with Kae, my (now ex) SIL was often telling me to just get the meds, just get the epi. I was nuts to try it without drugs, and that I would change my mind. It was something I heard almost every other day, just from her (and little side story, when she finally got pregnant, she was pro drug, fine, except that she couldn't get them cause she was to far into labor, HAHA! Karma?). I heard it often. Annoyingly so. To the point that I thought about changing my mind. I didn't. I didn't get the chance to, because i was to far into labor myself with Kae to get drugs, but to me, that was ok...I knew what i wanted. I wanted to feel it. I wanted to know every contraction, and to feel Kae moving out. I have to this day, never felt something more empowering then delivering Kae (and later Julian, but that, I'll not go there right now). it was super human, and in a word AWESOME.

Back to my point. Why do women feel the NEED to tell other women to just go ahead and drug up. One thing I saw was someone stating "when you do" to Mandy. Wait. When? You have that little faith in her? Excuse me?

I felt like (and I know this is not entirely accurate) a drug free advocate standing for Mandy's decision to try drug free. Every time I saw a post that mentioned HER getting drugs during labor, I tried to speak up, and remind the women that Mandy decided not to use drugs if possible. Then a few posts later someone else would mention that she should just do it.

Why? Why can't we just have the labor we want, without being undermined? What about support? Why couldn't the posts be about how she is a strong woman, who can do this (which she did so fabulously!)?

You could easily take my post and drag it the other way. A woman who WANTS drugs being harassed by women saying that drugs aren't needed. You'll be fine, you don't need an epi...etc. I'm just using the drug free stance because that's what was most recent.

Pregnancy is such an individual thing. It's such a blessing, and miracle, and one of the scariest, and most emotional, and ultimately rewarding thing.

Why must we spend our time trying to sway other peoples decisions on something that will NOT last. It is not breastfeeding...it is not circumcision...it is a temporary issue, which will not last. Who are you to say that someone should just suck it up and get the drugs? Really, it's so hard to even hear when you have made the choice not to, especially when you are in the midst of labor.

You are not a better mother, nor are you a worse mother. you are a mother, who's baby got here...that's all that's important isn't it?

Why not support a decision? Why spend even a moments time trying to undermine it? It is not lasting. It is not your body enduring (or not enduring) labor.

I know, I babbled,and probably a good bit of that made no sense...but I think the point I am trying to make came out.

As a finish...KUDOS to Mandy! A, long, but successful drug free labor!